Unleashing the Power Within: 4 Core Beliefs That Hold Women Back

The importance of addressing outdated beliefs that hold women back

As women, we've come a long way in terms of shattering glass ceilings and challenging societal norms. Yet, despite our remarkable progress, many still struggle with outdated beliefs that hold women back from unleashing their full potential. These deep-rooted commonly held beliefs, often stemming from societal conditioning or past experiences –acting as invisible chains, that limit our growth and prevent us from embracing our authentic selves.

In my journey of self-discovery and personal growth, I've encountered countless women who share similar struggles. Their stories, while unique, echo a common theme: the weight of what I like to call the core four – outdated beliefs that limit women, hinder them in their relationships, and hold them back from experiencing the life and love they deserve. 

The impact of outdated beliefs on women's personal and professional lives

Outdated beliefs stemming from our wounding and trauma can have a profound impact on every aspect of our lives– from our relationships and career trajectories to our mental and emotional well-being. When we harbor these toxic, unconscious beliefs they manifest as what I like to call survival strategies. These strategies are skills, habits and capacities that once helped us cope during periods of chronic stress, chaos and adversity but now, they inadvertently create barriers that hinder progress and diminish your sense of self-worth.

These beliefs often manifest as:

• Lack of confidence: Doubting your abilities and second-guessing decisions, leading to missed opportunities, unnecessary suffering and unfulfilled potential. These feelings of I’m wrong, not enough, or don’t belong are often fueled by self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
• Burnout and exhaustion: Trying to meet unrealistic expectations and juggling multiple roles, often at the expense of our own well-being and work-life balance.
• Strained and toxic relationships: Putting others' needs before your own and struggling to set healthy boundaries - leading to resentment, a loss of personal identity and patterns of volatile and highly narcissistic relationships.
• Perfectionism: Obsessing over flawlessness and fearing failure, which can paralyze you from taking risks or trying new things. Negative thought patterns associated with this include “I don’t know enough,” “I’ll never get it right,” and “shoulding all over yourself” – i.e. “I should have done X” or “I should be doing better.”

In my relentless pursuit to help smart, selfless, driven women break free from the limiting beliefs that were holding them back from experiencing life’s true potential I’ve discovered that there are Four Core Beliefs that often hold women back in life. By recognizing and addressing these beliefs, you can break free from the shackles that bind you and unlock a life full of more fulfilling possibilities.

Core Wounded Belief #1: "Not Enough"

One of the most pervasive and damaging beliefs that women face is the notion of "not being enough." This belief can stem from various sources, such as societal pressures, past criticisms, or even self-imposed expectations. It's a voice that whispers in our ears, telling us that we're unworthy, incapable, or undeserving of success, love, or happiness. This belief becomes an inner glass ceiling. Keeping us stuck in jobs, businesses and relationships that don’t match our worth.

Here are some telltale signs this wounded core belief  is present in your life:

Instead of checking in with yourself first, you’re constantly focused on what others think or say about you and chronically self-sacrificing. Solution? You have to learn to become more in tune with your needs and core values. Say “no” to people, places and things that make you feel unsafe and unsupported.

Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and the unique qualities that make you invaluable. You are profoundly generous, multi-talented – having access to your time, energy and resources should be a privilege. Protect that privilege. Surround yourself with a supportive network of people who uplift and encourage you. Most importantly, practice self-awareness, self-compassion and cultivating self-worth. Treat yourself with the kindness, understanding, acceptance and respect you would give a dear friend.

Core Wounded Belief #2: "I’m Alone"

In today's fast-paced, hyper-independent world, women often feel the pressure to juggle multiple roles and responsibilities simultaneously – and look good while doing it. We strive to be the perfect partner, mother, daughter, friend, professional, and often at the expense of our own well-being. 

It doesn’t feel that way at first though does it? The tricky thing about this wound is that it can mask wounds of not enoughness by making us feel extremely capable, successful and resourceful -until, we’re not.

This belief that "we have to do it all," “should do it all,” leads to burnout, anxiety, and a constant sense of being alone.

So, what’s the solution? To combat this belief, you must remind yourself that just because you’re exceptionally competent, doesn’t mean you should enable others. Afterall, this unintentionally robs others of their power. It also helps to learn the difference between independence, codependency and interdependence. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's essential for maintaining your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Core Wounded Belief #3: "I’m UnLovable"

This belief is often rooted in experiences of rejection, abandonment, or emotional neglect. For instance, a woman who grew up in a household where love and affection were conditional—perhaps, only given when she achieved something or behaved in a certain way—might internalize the idea that she is not inherently lovable. 

Over time, this conditioning leads to the belief that love is something that must be earned, rather than something she deserves simply by being herself. Similarly, if she experienced a relationship where she was constantly criticized or belittled by a partner, she might start to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with her, making her unworthy of love. 

The problem? She now sees others as the source of her love and it manifests in the form of toxic, non-reciprocal relationships. The solution? Cultivate the strength to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer fulfills you or has the capacity to mirror back to you the love and respect you deserve. Befriend your shadows and learn to love the parts of you that you deem weak, unworthy and unacceptable.

Core Wounded Belief #4: "I'm Invisible"

The belief of being invisible often stems from early experiences in childhood of being overlooked, ignored, or dismissed by those around you. For example, a woman who was consistently overshadowed by siblings or peers might have grown up feeling like her needs and opinions didn’t matter, leading her to believe that her voice is insignificant. Think middle child syndrome or glass child syndrome. 

This sense of invisibility can be further compounded if, throughout her life, she was talked over or dismissed in various settings, whether in the classroom, at work, or within her family. These experiences have caused her to internalize the idea that her voice doesn’t count and that she is unworthy of attention or recognition. 

She finds herself in relationships where her partner consistently ignores her input or makes her feel as though her opinions are unimportant. And in the workplace, she feels constantly overlooked for promotions or recognition despite her hard work and effort. 

The irony? You possess a unique gift to see what most can’t see and hear what is not being spoken. So why is it that you can’t see that you came here to make a profound impact in this world. Remember, to the untrained eye, even a diamond will look like a rock.

Solution? Instead of wondering why people don’t see you, learn to presence yourself. Identify your needs, ask for what you want and need and don’t be afraid to walk away from anyone or anything that can’t see your value. Your focus should be on creating relationships and identifying work environments where your needs and desires and the needs and desires of others are welcome and acceptable, even when they appear to be contrary or incompatible. This my dear is allied compassion and radical acceptance.

Overcoming outdated beliefs: Strategies and techniques for personal growth

Recognizing and acknowledging these outdated beliefs is the first step in the journey towards personal growth and women's empowerment. However, simply being aware of them is not enough; we must actively work to challenge and replace them with more empowering habits. 

Here are some strategies and techniques that can help you on this transformative path:

1. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and gaining clarity. Use your journal to explore the origins of your beliefs, question their validity, and reframe them in a more positive light.
2. Affirmations: Positive affirmations can help reprogram your mindset and reinforce empowering beliefs. Repeated affirmations such as "I deserve to feel worthy," "I am capable," or "I’m open to feeling enough" regularly, are great starting points for limiting resistance.
3. Visualization: Engage in visualization exercises by imagining yourself living in alignment with your desired beliefs. If you gave yourself permission to be, do, have whatever it is that you desire, what would you experience, who would you allow yourself to be? Whatever comes up for you is exactly who you are being invited to practice “becoming” – or as I like to see it, unveiling. See yourself as confident, self-assured, and unapologetically pursuing your dreams. This practice can help solidify your new beliefs and make them feel more tangible.
4. Therapy or coaching: We all have blindspots, regardless of how self-aware we are. Sometimes, we need an outside perspective to help us identify and overcome our limiting beliefs. Working with a trauma-informed therapist or coach who can not only provide valuable guidance, support, and accountability, but can also give you tools to emotionally regulate and process any old wounds that come up on your journey to self-empowerment.
5. Rebuild Your Network: As you start to shed the parts of you that were holding you back, you might find yourself shedding most of the people who surround you. The people you surround yourself with can significantly impact your beliefs, mindset and progress. Seek out individuals who uplift, encourage, and inspire you, and distance yourself or at the very least, learn to set strong boundaries with those who reinforce outdated or limiting beliefs. 

Empowering women through mindset shifts and self-compassion

At the core of overcoming outdated beliefs lies the power of mindset shifts and self-compassion. By cultivating a growth mindset and embracing self-love, we can rewrite the narratives that have held us back for far too long.

A growth mindset acknowledges that our abilities and potential are not fixed but can be developed and expanded through effort, perseverance, and a willingness to learn. This mindset empowers us to embrace challenges, view setbacks as opportunities for growth, and continuously strive for self-improvement.

Self-compassion, on the other hand, involves treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and non-judgmental acceptance. It means recognizing our shared humanity and acknowledging that we all experience struggles and imperfections. By practicing self-compassion, we can break free from the cycle of harsh self-criticism and embrace our authentic selves with grace and acceptance.

Together, a growth mindset and self-compassion create a powerful foundation for personal transformation. When we approach our journey with an open mind and a kind heart, we can shed the outdated beliefs that have held us back and step into a new reality where our potential is limitless.

Embracing a New narrative and Unleashing Your Inner Power

As we journey through life, it's natural to accumulate beliefs and narratives that shape our experiences and perceptions. However, when these beliefs become outdated and limiting, it's time to rewrite those narratives and embrace stories that make shifts happen. 

By recognizing and challenging the wounded beliefs that hold us back, we can unleash the power that lies within each of us. Your beliefs influence your feelings, your thoughts, and those thoughts and feelings shape the way that you respond to life – creating your results.

Embracing your authentic self and unapologetically living life on your own terms requires resilience, leadership, self-advocacy, and the courage to face and overcome new challenges. It’s a journey, not a destination, but a continuous process of growth, self-discovery, and self-acceptance. 

Ready to shatter the outdated beliefs that have held you back for too long? Let's work together on rewriting the narrative and rewiring your nervous system and brain for success! 

If you're ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal empowerment, join me in one of my transformative coaching programs designed specifically for women who are tired of reading the self help books, doing the work and seeing little to no results. It’s time to overcome outdated beliefs and unleash your full potential. Through personalized guidance, supportive community, and proven techniques, we'll help you rewrite your narrative and step into the life you truly deserve.